Tag: #love

The Conflict of a Spiritual Life.

Today my Lenten reading was Galatians 5:16-26.  For any of you not immediately familiar with that passage (and don’t worry, I wouldn’t have been either) it is a letter from the apostle Paul to the people of Galatia addressing what it means to “Live by the Spirit”.

I’m sure that there are many people who go straight to this passage when they tell you what a good Christian does and does not do.  Paul’s list includes sexual immorality, drunkeness, and witchraft, but it also includes jealousy, discord, selfish ambition, fits of rage and envy.  I can maybe claim to steer clear of the first three, but I would be lying to you, and to myself, if I didn’t admit to feeling jealousy, anger and envy at times.  So then the question I had to ask myself and I can imagine many other ask is “How can I possibly be a good Christian?”  Paul says that these behaviors are the result of our sinful nature, and that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.  If that’s the case I might as well give up now.  How can I possibly live up to such a standard?

Likewise when reading the fruits of the Spirit, they include patience, goodness and self-control…all things I know that I struggle with.  So where does that leave me?

I think that there are many people out there who read passages like this in the bible and feel defeated.  Perhaps you are one of them.  I know that, upon first reading this, before I looked deeper into it, I certainly was.  So then what is Paul trying to tell us, or what is the meaning behind this reading?

Robert L Deffinbaugh writes that God is gracious, and unlike a bureaucrat, He deals with you on the basis of your heart.  He’s not as wrapped up in the details of your life as much as He is concerned about your attitude toward Him and your desire for Him.  Deffinbaugh says that the results of the spiritual life are more evident than the reasons. The Spirit evident by his fruits, rather than by His actual visible presence, and “walking in the Spirit” is simply dependence upon God.

I love that interpretation because it allows for, and acknowledges our human weaknesses.  I talked yesterday about Lenten aspirations and I think that is what Paul is doing here…he’s giving the Galatians, and us a set of standards to aspire to.  And those standards are based upon that greatest of Christ’s teaches…”love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:31).  When we love someone, we don’t envy their successes, we celebrate them.  When we love someone we want to lift them up, to see them do and be better and it has no reflection on where we are ourselves.

I think that a life by the Spirit can only happen when we “abide in Christ”.  When we fully give ourselves, and our lives, up to God. When we come to know, and understand Him we find peace, and joy, and happiness, knowing that he judges us by our heart, and and our intentions.  He knows that we will fail.  He knows we will sin.  That is why He  provided us with His son, Jesus Christ; the perfect sacrifice and atonement for those sins.  So instead of reading Galatians and feeling like a failure, see this as something to aspire to.  Something that can only be achieved by trusting in, and walking with God.  Aspire to make God a part of your daily walk and you may find yourself surprised to find how easy and attainable a life lived by the Spirit really is.

God bless.

Meredith

My Lenten Journey – Pleasing God

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday and our priest’s brief message for the Lenten season was about aspirations.  As you go about your own Lenten journey what are your aspirations for your faith and relationship with God?  I know one of my own aspirations is to finally succeed in self-denial over this period of 40 days.  Every year I say that I am going to give up something and every year I am faced with trials and stressors that test me.  Sadly, I can always find a reason to justify indulging myself.

I am determined that this year is going to be different because I have a new plan.  I am not going to rely on the power of my will.  I have clearly proven year after year that will-power alone will not be enough to get me through this journey.  What I need to do, is use this period of time to really and truly turn to God when I am struggling.  I need to find a mantra, or a small prayer, that I can say when I am feeling weak, or being tempted and allow God’s strength, not my own, to get me through this season.

But I want to aspire to something as well.  I’m not sure yet, but perhaps it will be that God is calling me to be more active here on this blog.  I’ve already missed posting on Ash Wednesday, but then I thought about my reading today.  It was from Romans 8:1-17.  In this reading Paul is talking about “God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering”  and it goes on to talk about those of us who “live according to the Spirit”  versus those “who live according to the sinful nature”.  But there was one line in this reading that really stood out for me, and made me think that missing one day might be okay.  I am almost always acutely aware of my own sinful, prideful, selfish and impatient nature.  I try, but I fail hard, and often.  But despite my shortcomings God continues to make his presence known to me in my life.  Why?

This passage really summed it up for me.  “Those controlled by the sinful nature cannnot please God.” (Romans 8:8)  So then if God is present and active in my life, and makes me feel that he is pleased with me, I must be doing something right even though I continue to sin.  I think that there are two key reasons why, and I could be wrong, I’m not a priest but I can share the truths I feel God has shared with me.  The first reason is I try.  I know I’m going to fail, God knows I’m going to fail, but I keep on trying.  I keep asking for forgiveness, picking myself up and trying again (note: something to keep in mind for Lent), but even people who don’t believe in God try, so what is the reason I arrogantly presume to have pleased God?

Paul says in this letter to the Romans “And so He condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully men in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature, but according to the Spirit.”  (Romans: 8:4) “You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you.”  (Romans 8:9)  So what does that mean for me?  It means that because I have invited the Spirit of God into my life, because I have chosen to make God part of my life, part of my daily life, because I turn to him in times of blessing and pain he is pleased with me.  It doesn’t matter how many times I fall flat on my face.  I have recognized him as my loving parent, and like any parent, he is pleased to be a part of my life.

God is our Father.  He wants to be a part of our lives, just as much as we want to be a part of the lives of our own children, or as much as our parents want to be a part of our lives.  Maybe your aspiration for your Lenten journey this year is just to touch base with your heaven Father on a daily basis.  Thank him, cry to him, laugh with him.  A relationship with God is like a relationship with anyone else, you have to actually talk to Him.  And once you start talking, you might be surprised at how often He answers you back.

God bless,

Meredith

Befriending your problems.

I read this today as part of my devotions and it just felt to true that I felt compelled to share it.

“Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be.  The very same problem can be a stumbling block over which you fall if you react with distrust and defiance.  The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me.    The best way to befriend your problems is to thank Me for them.  This simple act opens up your mind to the possibility of benefits flowing from your difficulties.  You can even give persistent problems nicknames, helping you to approach them with familiarity rather than dread.  The next step is to introduce them to Me, enabling Me to embrace them in My loving Presence.”  — Sarah Young, Jesus Calling —

I wrote yesterday about my sorrow over the death of our beloved family pet.  But as my day progressed I became more and more convinced our journey that day with Bailey was perfectly scripted by God.  I used to say all the time that I just wanted to come downstairs one morning and find that she had drifted off in the night.  I wanted it to be easy.  But if that had happened, Everett wouldn’t have had the time to lie on the floor with her and tell her that he loved her.  Isaac wouldn’t have been able to cuddle her one last time, and she would have died alone, instead of being held in the arms of the people she loved and who loved her.  She was fine Sunday morning as we headed off to church.  When we got home, she had three seizures, each 2.5 hours apart.  It wasn’t a difficult decision to make.  She was old, she was tired and finally her body was failing her…it was time.  Yes, I spent yesterday feeling sad, but also so incredibly loved and blessed by God.  He gave us a perfect end with a perfect dog.

Thanking God for my problems or sorrows is not something that comes easily or naturally to me.  I often struggle with feelings of sorrow or depression.  It’s hard to thank God for feeling low  a day after you’ve felt amazing.  As recently as four months ago I have railed at him for it.  Asked him what I was doing wrong, accused him of not being the loving Father he claims to be.  It doesn’t matter that every month I know I’m going to have a few days like that, I hate it.  I hate feeling that way when I know that there is an alternative, and how great that alternative feels.

But over time, and with prayer, I feel God working on me, and today’s reading is another reflection of that.  God has shown me over and over again in my life how much he cares about me.  That he is always working for me, and he absolutely answers my prayers.  This past few months when I had a difficult day, I cried out to God.  I spent time in prayerful meditation.  The name of Jesus has power and some days that was all I could bring myself to say, over and over again.  Jesus.

I can feel God working in me; changing me and my perspective on events in my life.  I love that today he reminded me that it is always about choices.  That I need to continue to choose him in those difficult times.  I also love the idea of giving my persistent problem a nickname (although I might have to ask the kids for help with that one).  I love the idea of naming it and then every time it visits, just handing it over to Jesus.  As written by Sarah Young  “I will not necessarily remove your problems, but My wisdom is sufficient to bring good out of every one.”

God has done this for me so many times in my life, how can I fail to trust him?  Do you have a problem that needs a nickname? One that God is calling on you to give up to his embrace?

God bless,

Meredith

Who’s Your God?

February has been an interesting month for me.  All through January I was feeling a bit confused because I hadn’t really felt God calling me to write my blog and I didn’t understand why.  I felt as if I was doing something wrong, or maybe I was letting him down.  Then at the end of the month the reason became crystal clear.  We made the decision to pull our youngest out of the public school system and take on the job of home schooling him.

I feel as if I should tell you that it was a difficult decision. It wasn’t. For the last seven years (he was in grade 5 this year) I have told every teacher that he is our square peg and school is his round hole.  Each September I sit down and try to provide the teacher with strategies to help him succeed and ask that she/he keep the lines of communication open so that I can do my part at home.  This year I hit the wall.  His teacher told me that it was pointless for him to study for tests because he wouldn’t remember any of it anyway a couple of days later.  WHAT??!!!  I mean that’s basically how I got through first year  university.  But what a defeatest attitude from the woman who is responsible for my child?!  That was the moment I knew that we were done.

So for the past two and a half weeks I have been working with Isaac every morning.  We’ve gone backwards a few steps to make sure he really has his basics (especially in math), but we can also go forwards as fast as he is capable of.  And let me tell you…the difference I have noticed in him has been nothing short of miraculous. My child who couldn’t sit still or be quiet for five minutes sits at my counter, head down, getting his work done.  Sure he talks every once in a while, but the difference from day one to now is remarkable.  At his riding lesson last Thursday he spent the entire time focused and paying attention.  If you didn’t know better you’d think I’d put him on medication.

So why am I writing this?  Because I am so grateful to God for calling me to take a step back from one thing in preparation for the next big change in our lives.  We’ve hired a nanny to spend afternoons with him so I can get some work done, and we have fun Friday’s where we learn science and do art.

But the thing I want to really call attention to is how God provides and has provided for me.  Prior to taking on home schooling anyone of my friends would tell you that I was a busy woman.  I would have told you the same thing and no way did I have hours of free time each morning. But when you trust in God, he provides you with everything you need.  It took almost no time to get into a routine that gave me time to work with Isaac, time to write my stories, and time for me to exercise, ride, spend time with Dave, with friends.  God is so amazing and so good to me, and I want to give him all the praise and glory in this because I know without him this would not be possible.  I would not feel so calm and relaxed.  I simply could not do it.

When you listen to what God is calling you to do; when you open yourself up to Him…He will always show you the way.  He is so good and He has great plans for you.  I know that he has great plans for Isaac and that this was the next step that he needed us to take to make sure he reaches his true potential.

Where in your life is God calling you?  Maybe it’s a financial decision, a career change, or a deeper relationship with the God.  Are you listening?  Do you trust in him to provide?

I want to share these words with you from my bible reading today.  “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”  Proverbs 16:3

The other part of my reading that really spoke to my heart today was this.  “You are my God, and I will give you thanks, you are my God and I will exalt you.”  Psalm 118:28

Are you missing out on letting God act in your life with power and love?  Are you missing out on a chance to exalt Him?  Claim Him as your God and let Him do more than you can ask or imagine in your own life.

I’ll leave you today with a Zach Williams song that shares some of these same words.  YOU’RE MY GOD!!!

God Bless,

Meredith

Held Down By Marriage.

I recently saw an advertisement for a television show that disturbed me greatly for one particular line.  It said something to the effect that marriage was an institution designed to keep women down.  How sad that line mad me feel.  How completely the opposite of that has been my marriage and the marriage of my friends.  So let me simply say this as a response to that.

That line was written by someone who doesn’t really understand women’s rights.  My ability to be true to who, and what I am, is absolutely and completely defined by me. Not by my husband or my marriage.

How blessed am I to have a life-time companion who cheers my successes as if they were his own and gives me the freedom to take risks and make mistakes?

How blessed am I to have a person who will lifts me up when I fall down?

How blessed am I to be married to a person who listens to, and respects and values my opinion more than any other in his life?

YOU define your relationships, and marriage, just like a friendship, is as much about what you put into it as what you get out of it.

Sure, one hundred years ago, in the days before woman had the vote and equal rights, in the days when women were considered property; maybe then marriage was an institution that kept women down, or maybe it was a place where they could be safe and valued.  But in 2019?  Today marriage between two people who love and support one another can be a place for a woman, or a man, to fly.

Personally, I think more people should try it.  And when times get hard…I think more people should stick with it, because it’s only through those times of diversity, through working out your differences that you come to know and love each other even more deeply.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been divorced.  But when you find that person…your person…there is no problem you can’t work through.  No hurt you can’t overcome.

Marriage is a covenant made by two people to love and cherish each other.  If that is keeping me down…then I don’t ever want to be up.

God bless,

Meredith

So Good to Me

I’m stealing the title of a Zack Williams song tonight for my blog because I can’t come up with any better way to saying how I feel.

January has been a month of crossroads and revelations for me personally and, I think, in some ways for our family as well.  This month I have had to make difficult decisions about some of my personal relationships. This month I have struggled with a wavering belief in my own sense of competency.  This month I have been faced with choices of motherhood or career.

But this month, as I promised myself I would, I persevered in my faith.  In times where I felt distant from God, I didn’t lay blame…not on myself, or on God.  In times when I felt low, I focused on my heavenly Father.  I stuck to my daily bible study of praise and  repeating and believing in my heart the idea and mantra, “Praise the Lord, O my soul.”    And, as he promised I would, in his time, I can clearly see God’s work in my life over the last month.

I can honestly say that January is a month in which I’ve had to made difficult decisions, but I have done them with a prayerful heart, filled with thanksgiving for the blessings God has given me.  And today God revealed how he has been working for me, even when I was unaware.  God is so good…so good to me.

If you are reading this blog and thinking to yourself, I know exactly how you feel, Meredith, then I am so thankful that you have come to know our Lord.  But if you are reading this and wishing that you could have this too; this knowledge, this certainty that God is working in your heart, in your life…then tonight is the night I tell you that you absolutely can.  You aren’t joining a cult, you aren’t going to lose who and what you are and you definitely don’t need to be afraid.  Fear is evil’s way of keeping you from knowing God.

If you want to know the certainty that I have experienced this month, then I give you Romans 8:31.  “What then shall we say in response to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?”  WHO CAN BE AGAINST US!!!  God is for all of us.  For you and for me.  He is just waiting for you to open the door of your heart and invite him in.

God bless,

Meredith   (Here is the audio track for that Zack Williams song below)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WfIVCCl6nA

Does God want you to be happy?

Do you ever notice that God has a bit of a bad rap in some circles.  So many people think of God and religion in the same way.  They believe that a life lived for God must be restrictive and boring.  Or even worse, the only things they’ve ever heard about God are full of fire and brimstone, and presented as a way to scare them into believing.  “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is a hand!”

My first experience with God was very similar to that.  I wanted to be a Christian because I didn’t want to go to hell.  But can anything that comes of fear be good or lasting?  Is that really the message Jesus preached?

If you’ve been reading this blog, then you know I always bring everything back to my own experience as a parent.  Would I rather my children behaved well because we share a mutual love and appreciation for each other, or because they are afraid of my punishments and reprisals?

It makes me sad when I see God’s message distorted to scare people (because I absolutely believe it is a distortion).  The people who really know God, the ones who carry the message Christ preached in their heart, they know that our God is a God of love.  They know that Christ came to save the world, not condemn it.

So that brings me back to my question.   Does God want you to be happy?

“And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.  This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. ”  1 John 1:4-5

The gospels and letters of John are perhaps the most full of love in the entire bible.  John, the disciple whom Jesus loved best.  Maybe because John most understood, or was closest to Jesus’ heart.  So yes, I absolutely believe that, like any good parent, God wants us, his children, to be happy.  I can’t claim that I don’t have darkness in me.  Sometimes I yell at my children out of anger or frustration.  But God is the perfect parent.  Everything he does is to make us the people he created us to be.  Everything he does is to bring us closer to him.

Now that being said, I’m not saying that God is a completely permissive parent.  Like any good parent, he gave us a set of rules to live by.  He loves us enough to give us boundaries and  rules, designed to keep us safe and happy.  Don’t you do the same for your children…out of love?

And when your child disobeys how to you respond?  Do you correct them?  Do you discipline them?  Why?  I’m guessing for exactly the same reason you gave them rules in the first place, because you love them, and you want to keep them safe, and to help them lead a happy and successful life.

So doesn’t it make sense then that our Father in heaven, who has no darkness in him, does everything for our own good?

I think that the closer we draw to God, the more we follow his rules for life, the more he rewards us in big and small ways, by glimpses of his love.  And when we keep our spirits focused on him, and not the distractions of this world, we come closer to finding the peace and happiness that God wants for us.  A peace that passes all understanding.  A joy beyond anything that we could ask or imagine.

So when you hear people tell you that they don’t want a God who punishes people, you can tell them that isn’t the God you believe in.  Tell them that your God is a kind and loving Father and that everything he does comes from a love that always wants to draw you closer.  A love in which there is no darkness, only light.

So what exactly are God’s rules for us?

  1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
  2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
  3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
  4. Remember the sabbath
  5. Honor they father and mother
  6. Thou shalt not kill
  7. Thou shalt not commit adultery
  8. Thou shalt not steal
  9. Thou shalt not bear false witness
  10. Thou shalt not covet anything that is thy neighbors.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I read these all I see are rules about respect.  Respect for the God who created us and loves us, and respect for each other.  These are a set of rules designed to make our lives better, given to us by a kind and loving Father.

I’m guessing that not many of the people reading this blog are going to have too much trouble following rules 6-8 on a daily basis.  But what about taking the Lord’s name in vain?  Honoring your parents? Coveting? Keeping the sabbath?

The more we make God’s rules a part of our lives, the more in communion we are with Him, and the happier we become.  God wants all of his children to live in joy.  But we need to do our part to make that happen.

So this week I challenge you to pick one rule and try to make it a habit, part of your daily routine.  If you find yourself feeling envious, think about all of the gifts God has given you.  If you find yourself taking the Lord’s name in vain, correct yourself and say sorry.  Try prioritizing church for a month.  You’ll be surprised at the joy you’ll find in following God’s rules.  And, yes GOD ABSOLUTELY WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY!

GOD BLESS

Meredith

 

 

 

 

Obsession!

What do you think of when you hear the word, obsession?  It positively screams of something dark and insidious.  A fault or failure of character.  A character flaw that allows something negative to take over or dominate your life to the exclusion of all else.

We speak of kids and their obsession with social media, video games, screens time.  We talk about obsessions with fashion, food, fitness.  It seems like everyone these days is blaming something on their OCD.

Well today I want to confession my obsession to you.  Because I am obsessed…obsessed with God.

It’s like He sits there, in the front of my brain.  I can practically point to the place, it’s right between, and slightly above my eyes…right in the middle of my forehead.  Or sometimes when I’m in church it’s like I can feel his hand pressing down on my bowed head.  Letting me know he is with me.

God fills my thoughts.  When I’m happy, songs of praise either dance through my brain, or burst uncontrollably from my lips.  I’m constantly thinking about Him, thanking Him, wanting to learn more about Him.  Understand Him.  In my free time I think about this blog or my other writing projects, and how I can give back to Him who has given me so much.  How I can use my meager talent to thank Him for the fullness of my heart; the moments of overwhelming, soul-filling joy.  The feeling of knowing and understanding what He is trying to tell me – those moments that bring me to my knees, tears streaming down my cheeks because I feel so full.  So fully loved.  So full of Him.

But this obsession is unlike anything I understood obsession to be.  It is all consuming, but instead of guilt and darkness, I feel only light.  My obsession doesn’t take me away from my family and my responsibilities, it only makes me able to be more;  more engaged, more patient, more gentle, more kind.  It only makes me love them more.

My obsession makes me want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them.  I need to make them understand how amazing it feels to be loved, to live in the light of God’s love.  There is no video game, or movie or social media post that can give you the sense of wholeness you get from communing with God.

This is an obsession that redefines the word.  There is no negative here.  There is only a sense of rightness, of peace, of what was always intended.

I know God loves me.  I feel God’s love and it is an oxymoron; all consuming and liberating at the same time.  In everything you give up to Him, you feel more full, more fulfilled, more satisfied.

This must be a glimpse of what it feels like to live always in His glory.  When you come close to experiencing, even a glimpse of his presence, you can’t help but fall to your knees in praise.  Now I understand the title of C.S. Lewis’ autobiography “Surprised by Joy”.

God Bless,

Meredith

My ugly jealousy.

I debated about writing this blog because, like most people, I hate exposing that dark underbelly that we all have.  But I also feel that if I am going to be honest about my faith journey and how God works in my life, then sometimes you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.

We’ve all had them, feelings of jealousy.  I know for myself, Those feelings almost always stem from my own feelings of inadequacy.  I never envy people having or doing things that I am confident in about myself, but areas where I am insecure, especially in my work, are very common places for negative feelings to arise.

I had occasion to experience those feelings this past weekend.  I could feel the ugliness and that little voice in my head, questioning myself and putting down another person because I needed to reassure myself that I was good enough. I felt it… but I also recognized it as nothing that was going to take me anywhere good. I think that is part of walking close to God, he lets you know almost immediately that you are on the wrong path and gives you the opportunity to right yourself.

Not only did God give me the opportunity to right myself that day, he then reassured me in my scripture readings.  Now I know the other day I talked about being accused of confirmation bias.  But when I write the verse I read today, you decide for yourself.  Because I could have read it the day before, and I would have if I had stuck to my scheduled reading plan, but I didn’t…  I read this verse on the very day I needed to read this verse.  I simply can’t believe that is anything other than GOD present and active in my life.

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.  For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:”  Romans 12:3-4

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure God took the time today to remind me that we each have different skills and that he will call us each to be our best for him and not to worry about what anyone else is doing.  There are several more verses that follow this one that reiterate that.

This is why I love our Lord.  He absolutely took time to listen to how I was feeling and he gave me an answer and a direction, just like any parent would for their own child. The moment I read that verse I got down on my knees, tears streaming down my face, and thanked God for his love.  For taking the time to show me how much he cares about me and for reminding me of the path he wants me to walk. That feeling of being held by God, of being known by God is so wonderfully, powerfully overwhelming.

If you don’t think that you can have this type of relationship with our Father in heaven I would wholeheartedly tell you that you are wrong.  Not only can you have this kind of relationship, but this is the relationship God wants to have with you.  All you need to do is reach out.  If you haven’t already accepted Jesus as the son of God, and asked him to be a part of your life, then do it now.  If you are a believer, make an effort to get to know the God you believe in, reach out in prayer and open yourself to a life of freedom and love and blessing.

God Bless

Meredith

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=air+i+breathe&view=detail&mid=DC21E3C4784DC6B95AC1DC21E3C4784DC6B95AC1&FORM=VIRE