Everett has been sick for the past few day so yesterday I took him to the clinic.  Having nothing to do drives me crazy, so I took along a book; Discovering the Character of God by George MacDonald.  If you haven’t heard of MacDonald then let me tell you that his fantasy works heavily influenced both C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien.  But he was also a man of strong faith and I wanted to share a few things I read yesterday that I found meaningful.

True Deliverance

“It is true that Jesus came, in delivering us from our sins, to deliver us also from the painful consequences of our sins.  But these consequences exist by the one law of the universe, the true will of God.  When that will is broken, suffering is inevitable. 

But in the perfection of God’s creation, the result of that suffering is curative.  the pain works toward the healing of the breach. 

The Lord never came to deliver men from the consequences of their sins while those sins yet remained.  that would be to cast out the window the medicine of cure while still the man lay sick.  Yet feeling nothing of the dread hatefulness of their sin, men have constantly taken this word that the Lord came to deliver us from to sins to mean that he came to save them from the punishment of their sins…and save us from hell.  But in that they have misrepresented his true mission. 

The mission of Jesus was from the same source and with the same object as the punishment of our sins.  He came to do more than take the punishment for our sins.  he came as well to set u f free from our sins. 

No man shall be condemned for any or all of his sins that are past.  He needs not dread remaining unforgiven even for the worst of them.  the sin he dwells in, the sin he will not come out of – that is the sole ruin of a man.  His present, his live, sins – those pervading his thoughts and ruling his conduct, the sins he keeps doing and will not give up, the sins he is called to abandon and clings to – these are they for which he is even at this moment condemned.  “This is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.”

It is the sin in our being – no essential part of it, thank God! – the miserable fact that we as a very child of God do not care for our Father and will not obey him, causing us to desire wrongly and act wrongly – this is what he came to deliver us from, not the things we have done, but the possibility of doing such things any more.”

I find those words so powerful and comforting and reassuring.  Yes, I will continue to sin, because I’m human and imperfect, but my role as a child of God isn’t to be perfect, but to listen to and obey my Father.  Thank you Jesus for your gift to us.

God bless,

Meredith

 

 

 

Yesterday Isaac had his first horse show.  Because the show was scheduled to start at noon, I let everyone sleep in and went to the early service at our church.  It felt like the  first time in forever that I actually got to “go” to church.

Of course we go to church as a family every Sunday (even through the summer), but because I teach Sunday school, I miss out on most of the service.  That means that I haven’t had the opportunity to sit and listen to a sermon, or say the pray the prayers, or have that special time in God’s house since summer ended and school began.

I don’t want to say that I cried through most of the service, but I do know that I really needed that time.  To sit there in God’s presence and be renewed.

Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve been to church.  Maybe you’ve never been to church.  I’ve heard lots of people say that you don’t need to go to church to be a Christian or to believe in God.  Heck, I used to be one of those people.  I mean life is busy these day, especially when you have kids.  There are hockey practices or dance recitals, swimming meets, soccer tournaments…it seems like we are always driving somewhere so it makes sense that you’d want to have one day a week when you don’t have to go anywhere.  When you can just relax and be renewed.

But what if I told you that you could find a greater sense of peace leaving your house?  That’s the wonder and miracle of God.  Once you go to church you don’t actually miss the time.  I can’t imagine what I would do on a Sunday morning if I wasn’t in church (unless I’m away for work).  What seemed like a Herculean task – finding time to go to church is easy.

And while it’s true you don’t need to go to church to believe in God, I do think you need church to maintain your faith.  To keep it strong.  I love the imagery our priest uses.  Imagine yourself and your faith as a matchstick.  It doesn’t take much to blow out that match.  But when you go to church you become part of something bigger.  You are part of a bonfire, that keeps the fire of your own faith lit.  Going to church helps keep God in the forefront of your life, and not pushed to the back-burner as something you will get around too when you have more time.

How many hours a week do we waste watching Netflix?  Think of your faith like your fitness.  If you want to get in shape you need to make time to exercise, to prepare good meals and eat right.  If you are looking to deepen your faith, or change your relationship with God, or just to find more peace in your life…you need to make the same time for God.  Church is a couple of hours on a Sunday morning, or a Saturday night, depending on your faith.  And much like exercise,  you just might find you get more from it than you’re giving up.

God bless,

Meredith

The other day Everett and I were talking.  As he is getting older he often questions my faith in order to develop his own understanding.

Our conversation on this particular day was about signs from God.

Everett: “So you’re trying to tell me a green light is a sign from God, Mom?”

Mom:  “It can be, to a person who is in a hurry or just needs something small to turn their day around.  Lots of times signs from God are small and only mean something to the person they were given to.”

Everett:  “I asked God for a sign, but he didn’t give me one.”

Me:  “Maybe he didn’t think you were in the right mental state to recognize a sign from him.”

I was Everett once.  As a teenager I asked God for a lot of things, to make me popular, to make me pretty, to make me not care about what people thought of me.  For a boy to like me.  To give me a sign that he was out there.  To help me not feel so alone.

But I think that the way you ask God for things is as important as what you ask God for.  God looks into your heart and he knows the real reasons behind your requests.  Maybe it’s a need to be liked, be popular, be famous, be powerful.

I think about the motivations behind the prayers I’ve prayed that have been answered.  What has been in my heart at the time?  It wasn’t until I fully gave myself over to God, before I fully put my life into his hands and trusted in him that I started to really see the result of my prayers.  I wasn’t until I prayed, “Thy will be done.”

In 2 Corinthians 1 Paul gives praise to the “God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles.”

Prayer isn’t just about asking God for things or to help us.  It’s also about really giving our troubles to God.  If you are still feeling worried or overwhelmed about your job, or a situation in your life that you have prayed about, then I would argue that you haven’t really given that situation over to God.  Like Paul we will have times in our life where we experience great pressure, but those times “happen that we might not rely on our ourselves, but on God who raises the dead.  He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us.  On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us.”  2 Corinthians 1:9,10

Prayer isn’t just about asking God for things, it’s about turning to God with an open heart and trusting that he will provide what you truly need, even if it’s not what you asked for.

I was listening to the radio yesterday and I heard these words jump out at me in a song by Mendisa that I have listened to a million times (song below).  “Go ahead and fall into the arms of Jesus.”  I could feel the tears welling up.  When I talk about the freedom I find in Jesus, that’s what I’m talking about. Falling into his arms and trusting that he will take care of me.

When Everett asked God for a sign, I know he was looking for proof, a reason for his faith.  But I also know that he didn’t really expect God to provide that sign.  He didn’t trust.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t think God will answer his prayer.  I just think that God will give him that sign when he’s ready, when he has eyes that can see it.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”  I Corinthians 13:11

Trust in God.  He will NEVER  let you down.

God bless,

Meredith

Yesterday, as I was driving home from dropping Isaac off at school, the radio program I was listening to was talking about debt.  The Bank of Canada was about to increase interest rates, and they were talking about how dangerously close to the edge Canadians are living financially.

When I was a newly single parent with two kids I lived on what anyone would consider a modest income and yes I had some debt.  But the kinds of debt they were talking about on the radio was unsecured debt (credit cards, etc) in the ten of thousands of dollars.  I can’t even image what you could need so badly that you could get yourself into that much of a hole.  Designer shoes? Vacations to Disney Land? Video games?

Today we are burdening ourselves with debt as we run around trying to buy happiness.  TV, magazines, even news programs tell you all about the latest gadgets that you can’t live without.  My household is not immune to this phenomenon.  Isaac asks me almost daily for the latest upgrade to his app or the newest toy he just saw on Youtube.  I went to Michael’s to pick up art supplies for David and found myself walking out with a stuffed bat for Halloween.  I have so many Christmas decorations I could decorate two houses.

We live in a monkey see, monkey do society.  But are all those things really making us happy?  I think sometimes kids are the purest expression of the human character because they haven’t yet learned the art of dissemblance.  No sooner does Isaac get something then he forgets about it and is on to the next thing.

Maybe we are taking on the wrong kind of debt, focused on the wrong kind of debt.  You see where I’m going right?  Jesus Christ.  We owe him a debt that can never be repaid.  I mean ask yourself, what value do you put on the salvation of your soul?  And the best part about the debt we owe Jesus is that it doesn’t take years of budgeting or cutting back to repay him.  All we have to do is acknowledge his sacrifice for us, his love for us and believe.  We just have to believe that he died for our sins and make him a part of our lives.  Accept his gift of love, let him into our hearts and our debt is erased. Just like that.  If only everything in life was that easy.  And the best part about making good on your debt to Jesus?  Freedom.  Of heart, of mind, of spirit.  His love fills your heart so full that you don’t need to keep buying things to make yourself feel happy.

I was reading 1 Corinthians 16 today in which Paul says  “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.  Do everything in love.”

Do everything in love.  Maybe that’s our problem. Everything Jesus did was out of love for humanity, for you.  That includes his suffering and death on the cross.  I try to remind myself every day to act in love.  I pray everyday for God to change my heart and fill me with love, not for myself, but for others.

We live in such a commercial world that it is so easy, especially with the holidays coming, to get caught up.  We rack up worldly debts as a means of showing our worth, or our love.  But I have found, for myself, that the more I focus on the debt I owe to Jesus and the love he has for me, the less I feel the need to “consume”.  Because I’m already full.

There is only one debt we can take on that will truly make us happy.

God bless,

Meredith

I love that God answers our prayers even when we aren’t aware of it.  We might find out days, weeks or months later.  That happened to me last week.

Our oldest son Hayden has some very complex special needs and he lives in his own apartment in our community and is cared for by a local organization.  Last week I had the opportunity to speak with the manager of his house about lunches and meal planning.  Just as our conversation was about to end she mentioned that, from a staffing point of view for Hayden, they were in the best place they had been for several years.  Everyone working with him loves him and enjoys spending time with him.

It might be hard to understand, but this is a really big deal.  Hayden’s staffing is something I have been praying about since the summer, asking God to bring good and kind people into his life to care for him.  We’ve also added him to the weekly prayer list at church and introduced medical marijuana to try to help him with his compulsive need to self-abuse.

Seeing how much happier Hayden is on an almost daily basis, hearing his giggles and then hearing how much his new staff care about him and enjoy working with him…even though I was having a tough week last week, God was doing His thing.  He was answering my prayers and being the kind and loving Father that I know Him to be.

My bible verse for today is from Ephesians 5:20.  “Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything.”

I talked on Monday about leaning not on our own understanding.  We tend to think that because we are so connected we know everything there is to know.  But God knows so much more.  He is in all times and in all places.  As children of faith it is our job to be faithful.  To rely on his wisdom and love and plan for us.  God hears us and answers our prayers for us, and for those whom we love.

So today I’m going to spend some time giving thanks to God for answering my prayer for Hayden.  Do you have someone in your life who could use your prayers?  Has God answered a prayer that you still haven’t given thanks for?

God bless,

Meredith

 

 

I don’t think it comes as a surprise to anyone if I say that I had a bit of a rough week last week.  In the grand scheme of things it wasn’t terrible, but I just felt a general sense of malaise and fatigue hanging over me and it seemed like no matter how hard I prayed, or exercised or tried to get over it, I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling.  It hung around until Sunday.

Sunday morning the kids in Sunday school were crazy and challenging and frustrating. Before I went up for communion I prayed for patience and a lifting of my spirit.  After communion I got down on my knees, and just as I was about to plead with God again for relief the thought came over me, maybe I should stop talking and just listen.  So I knelt there, and I waited.

How often do you know exactly what you need from God?  You know it so well that you just keep asking him, certain that he must not have heard you the first time.  That was me last week.  I kept up a running monologue in my head, constantly asking God to lift the heaviness from my heart, show me he loved me, forgive me for whatever sin I had committed.  But never once in that time did I just stop and wait.  I knew what the answer was that I wanted, so I just kept talking.

Sunday morning, on my knees in church, I waited on God.  And it wasn’t long before I felt the peace I had been searching for all week.  I felt the certainty of God’s love for me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  Proverbs 3:5

Such a simple thing and yet so difficult for us to do; to be still.  We are constantly running in lives filled with busy work.  How much time are you spending with God?  Just being still?  It’s funny that just stopping for a moment and really waiting on God, I found myself filled with so much energy.  I was able to accomplish more Sunday afternoon that I had all week and I went to bed truly rested.  Because until that moment, on my knees in the pew, I hadn’t really been trusting in God with all of my heart.  I had been leaning on my own understanding of what I needed.

God knows us better than we know ourselves and he loves us fully and completely.  Your child might be convinced that he or she really needs that new video game or pair of shoes to be happy, but as a parent you make decisions based not on what you child wants, but on what is best for them.  God does the same for us.

This week trust in God.  If you have something sitting on your heart, stop leaning on your own understanding.  Give it to Him and then…just be still.

God always answers prayer, we just have stop talking long enough to hear him.

God bless,

Meredith

Let me start this blog by saying that my marriage is solid and I love David even more today than I did the day I married him.  He is my soul mate and I absolutely consider him a blessing from God.

Okay, now that we have have that out of the way, let’s talk.  Why is it so hard to break up with people?  And why does it make me feel like a bad person?

Friendships, hairdressers, housekeepers.  Some people are really good at creating boundaries and letting people go when they need to.  I am not one of those people.

I honestly don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad.  If you are a part of my life, I want you to feel loved, cared for, affirmed.  But sometimes, friends grow apart, or become co-dependent and the relationship that once lifted you up and was mutually beneficial experiences a tragedy and over the years morphs into something that makes you feel trapped.  You still love your friend, but your relationship with her or him is eating away at you.  What was once a relationship that elevated you both has become almost parasitic.  There is nothing you can do to fill the void that tragedy has left in the life of your friend and every time you try to make space for yourself, for you family you are racked with guilt.  Or at least that is how I felt.

I wish I knew how to deal with those situations better.  I know that Jesus wants me to share his love with the world, but there are times when I have nothing left to give.  Is is wrong to prioritize my family, my mental health.  We each have our own paths to walk, how far are we supposed to carry our brothers and sisters down those paths?  And I keep wondering why feel like I am failing?

This week we let our housekeeper of more than ten years go.  I love her, she’s a great person, and she does an amazing job.  The problem is that I just have so much going on in my life right now I couldn’t handle the intrusion into my sanctuary.  I needed space.  Does that even make sense?  What do I owe God?  What do I owe people in my life?

Honesty.

My go to reaction is always avoidance.  I draw away because it’s easier than being honest.  Or I tell a lie because it’s easier than dealing with the hurt that I know my words are going to cause.  The problem with that is it always results in even more hurt and in the end I have to “come clean” and be honest anyway.

Being honest with each other is hard.  How many of us could say that we didn’t tell even one little white lie almost daily?  Yes I love that dress, haircut, tv show.  We have other people lie for us, we call in sick to work when we aren’t, and we aren’t above asking our children to life for us (“Tell him I’m not here”).

Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore, having laid aside falsehood, each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, because we are members of one another.”

This was a lesson I learned this week.  It’s hard to be honest, but the consequences of a lie, the damage it does to other people, to your soul, to your relationship with God is even worse.  Yesterday I was feeling resentful that God was making me feel bad.  I knew I was being punished and I was angry about it.  Wasn’t it okay for me to establish a boundary in my life?  Today he showed me that the boundary was okay, it was the way I did it that was wrong.  God is the Father of truth.  So when I lie, who am I letting into my life?

My goal this week is to try to be truthful in all things, even when it doesn’t make me look good, even when it might hurt someone (as long as I do it lovingly and trying to recognize wisdom sometimes means keeping your thoughts to yourself). Ephesians 4:15 “But practicing the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ, who is the head.”

Here is a great resource that helped me today.

https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-32-tell-truth-ephesians-425

God Bless,

Meredith

 

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you obey my commands you will remain in my love just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  This is my command, Love each other.”  John 15:9-11, 17

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that the bible is the greatest love story ever written.  It would be hard to argue that when you read verses like the one above spoken by Jesus to his disciples on the night he was to be given up to the authorities.  The eve of his death.

Do you ever wonder what your legacy would be?  What is the one thing that people would say about you?  What would you want them to say?  I think it is so incredibly powerful that Jesus’s legacy of love remains 2,000 years later.

These days there are new celebrities being created almost daily.  Young people driven to Youtube trying to leave their mark on the world; social influencers, video gamers.  It often feels like we have become a society that is consumed with the idea of  becoming famous, or at least it feels as if we are raising our kids that way.  But what is fame? What are we chasing?  What are our children chasing?  Is it happiness, validation?  Does the fact that someone watches your Youtube channel or reads your blog mean that you are worthy?  Does it make you a better person?  I don’t claim to be immune to this.  As a writer I used to worry about how many people were buying my books, reading my comics, writing reviews, and a bad review or poor sales could make me question my value as a person.

That’s why I love the lyrics in the Casting Crows song, Only Jesus; “I don’t want to leave a legacy.  I don’t care if they remember me.  Only Jesus.”   (full song below)

I think that we need to remind ourselves and our children that our legacy is in the lives of the people we touch everyday.  It’s in obeying Jesus’ command to love each other that we create something that we can truly be proud of.  I can’t remember film stars from 40 years ago, and 40 years from now I guessing no one will remember Ninja or Fortnite.  It’s the mark that you leave on the lives of the people around you that matters, that you’ll be remembered for.

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”   1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Let today be the day be the day that you stop worrying about leaving your mark on the world and start worrying about leaving your mark on the hearts of those around you.  Live a life of love. A kind, patient life.  A life in which you aren’t focused on your own accomplishments, but on lifting up those around you. Love each other, and allow the joy of Jesus to be in you and your joy to be complete.

God Bless,

Meredith

 

 

 

I’m struggling right now.  We all have them, days when we don’t feel like ourselves, days when we are out of balance.  It’s so easy to take the slide down, to allow the negative to win, to focus on everything that is going wrong and allow that to become the definition of my life even if it’s only for a day.  To wallow in my misery.

But for some reason this time is different.  I keep pushing through, I feel the pressure in my head, but I don’t give in.  This time is different.  My faith, my relationship with God is different now.  It’s grown, matured, deepened since the last time I had a day like this.  I cling to the Lord and pray and sing and read my scriptures and even though I still sit at the top, I don’t take the slide.  I don’t let the negative win – it can’t win when I have faith, when I trust in Jesus.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me.”   John 14:1

“Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

Yesterday and today I am sure of what I hope for…to feel and be reassured of God’s love for me, to be lifted up by my Father.   I am certain that even though I can’t see him, there is a God in heaven that hears my prayers and will answer them.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”   Hebrews 11:6

I have spent the past year really seeking God.  To know and understand his purpose for me and my life.  To have faith.  And over that time I have been rewarded.  I have known indescribable joy on an almost daily basis.  I have felt the hand of God upon me and I have faith that this too shall pass.  I know that God will lift me up and I will feel the joy and fullness of his love again.  We all have times of struggle, but it’s how we deal with those times.  It’s about the choices we make.  It’s about our faith.

God bless,

Meredith

Yesterday Dave and I were cleaning the kitchen after dinner and as I reached into the drawer where we keep our plastic wrap I accidentally cut my finger on the serrated edge of the parchment paper box.  Don’t ask me how, because I couldn’t actually tell you, but all of a sudden instead of cleaning up the kitchen, I was having to clean up myself.

As I prepared to write this blog today, I was thinking about my poor finger and worried about how much it was going to hurt to type on.  Funny how sometimes the smallest cuts, depending on where we get them, (paper cuts are the worst) can hurt more than deep ones.

And that started me thinking about people who are walking around with wounds on their hearts.  I’ve been there myself.  Broken and scarred.  Scared and angry.  Maybe you are one of those people.  Maybe you’ve done something, or had something done to you that has left a wound on your heart that won’t go away.  Something that keeps you from living fully and completely.

I am certainly not going to claim to have all of the answers and I don’t have a degree in psychology, but I have learned that the more I hold on to my pain….the more pain I have.  It’s easy to do.  It’s like a rock in the ocean of our heart.  We keep rubbing away at it and pretty soon it gets smoother and prettier and harder to let go.   But it’s still just a rock and no matter how smooth we rub it, no matter how pretty we make it look, it is still weighing us down.

Psalm 68:10, Psalm 111:5, Acts 14:17

God is our Provider.  God provides everything we need to live, not only foot to eat, but also food for our souls.  God does not give us things to enjoy life, but He gives us life so we can enjoy all things. 

We were made to enjoy life.  I said in an earlier post that I believe that as much as God acts as a force for light and love in this world, there is another force acting against God.  A force that wants to you live in darkness and pain and fear.

So what am I saying?  Give God your fear, your pain, your anger.  His love is big enough to take anything and everything you can give him.  One of my favorite verses is 1 John 4:18.  “There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear”.  Let God’s perfect love drive out your fear.   1 John 4: 16 “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.”   God is faithful and unchanging and patient. He will be there for you.  He will provide for you.  You can rely on Him.

I am so thankful that I knew Jesus in my times of crisis and turmoil.  That the love of God was a part of my life even then, because I could turn to Him.  I could give Him my wounds and my hurt and my anger and His love was big enough to take it.  His love was big enough to heal me.  I don’t carry a burden of past hurts with me, because God is carrying them for me so that I can enjoy the life He has given me fully and completely.

I’ve said before that I don’t believe that bad things happening are part of God’s plan for us.  Just as we would never wish harm or pain upon our children.  But I also believe that He has the power to use our suffering and sorrow to our advantage.  To draw us closer to him, to share his love with us and perhaps help us to share his love with those around us.

If you are walking around with a wound on your heart, if you are still carrying your stone, no matter how pretty you think it looks, no matter how attached you are to it, it is still weighing you down.  I pray that today is the day you give it to God.  I pray that you can experience his healing powers just as I have in my life.  I pray that you let him heal you so that you can live the life of joy he created you to live, fully and completely.  Know and rely on the love of God.

God bless,

Meredith