Have you every notice when someone else is struggling, or going through a difficult time, how easy it is to know that they need to lean on God, or to turn to God, or to trust in God? Have you also noticed that when YOU are going through a difficult or challenging time how difficult those very same things can be…even when your heart knows you should?
At times, during my recovery, it has been incredibly difficult for me to be patient and trust that this is part of God’s plan. There have been times I have felt his hand on my heart, and instead of turning into that love I have begged for him to just leave me alone, that I can’t do this, that I’m not strong enough. It’s been hard.
Of course God didn’t leave me alone, just as I wouldn’t walk away from one of my own children if they were suffering and in pain. He just wraps me up in his love and waits for me. Jesus used the image of a shepherd and his sheep often in his ministry. And he reassured us that “…no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” John 10:28-29 As a child of God, as one of Jesus’ sheep, I am always in his care, and no one, not even I have the power to make him go away. He will always be there, watching over me, and caring for me, and protecting me.
It’s not always given to us to know why bad things happen. What is given to us is to know that we can trust in our Father to make all things for our good. Just as when your toddler is learning how to walk, you can’t always keep them from falling, so too will our Father in heaven be there to pick us up, dust us off and kiss away our pain.
And in case you were worried…I’m good. That day, after telling God to leave me alone, I came home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting on my kitchen counter. They were bright, and lovely, and from my parents. When I called to say thank you, my mom said that she just had a feeling I might need a pick me up. GOD IS SO GOOD AND I AM SO BLESSED! Thank you mom and dad! Thank you, Jesus!