The past few months have felt increasingly more and more hectic for me. And as I have felt the responsibilities of home and work pressing in on me I have constantly prayed for God to help. I felt that I had taken on the tasks He had requested of me and I had faith that He would help me to accomplish them. I believe that He would give me what I needed. What I could not have predicted was exactly how He would go about it.
Two weeks ago I had a fairly significant fall off of my horse. I ended up in the emergency room with a fractured left clavicle and right thumb as well as a significant bruise on my left hip and damage to the ligaments and tendons in my right hip. I wasn’t capable of supporting my own weight for more than two or three steps. Now you might be thinking “poor Meredith”. But all I saw here was a blessing. Let me explain.
My clavicle fracture was severe enough to require surgery. So here I am, two weeks after a break, with a left arm that is 80% functional – only because of the way that I broke it. Since I’m writing this blog, you can see that off all the things I am not able to do yet, work isn’t one of them. For a few days it was literally the only thing I could do for myself, and that included getting dressed.
God heard my prayers and he knew that the only way to slow me down, to give me the time I needed, to do what I needed, was to break me. And he broke me in ways that will heal. Dave learned how to tie a pony tail. The boys have been so helpful and friends and family have showered me with love and affection and meals. My girlfriend even came over and washed my hair. God gave me a blessing and then he surrounded me with love.
The name of my horse is “By Absolute Faith”. That is the only way I know now to live my life. To trust that God loves me, his child and that he will use all things to my benefit. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
I’m walking without a cane now, but it’s slow and still a bit painful. I can tie my own ponytail, wash my hair and dress myself and this weekend I was able to start driving again. I can do minor household chores, but I still can’t lift anything much heavier than a kettle half-full of water and I get tired more easily. But this too shall pass and my brain is at 100% which means I can work. And there are lots of things I don’t have to feel guilty about, like not getting out for a run or working out, or having a perfectly clean house…because I literally can’t do those things yet. God is good.
So the next time God knocks you off your horse (maybe not literally as in my case) trust that he knows what you need better than you do and that he will work all things for your good.