How is your Lenten journey going? Today is day four and I’m feeling pretty good. I feel different this year, like I have a new resolve. I truly feel strengthened knowing that I can’t do this on my own and that I’m absolutely going to be relying on God to help get me through my times of weakness. It’s a strange feeling, acknowledging weakness and actually feeling stronger for doing so. I’m usually the person who has it all together, or at least that’s the impression I give. (If I’m wrong, please don’t tell me.) Paul writes about this same moment of clarity in 2 Corinthians 12:9 ‘But he said to me “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power my rest on me.’
While I may be feeling strong about my Lenten journey, there are other areas in my life where I am tamping down a growing sense of chaos and panic. I have so many things to do and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. I have three projects I’m working on from a writing perspective and because I am now homeschooling Isaac in the morning I have had to shift my days around and work at night. I’m sure that this will get easier as the days get longer, but it is definitely a challenge to sit down at 7 or 8:00 and shift my brain into creative mode. That’s not to mention the housecleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, meal making and carpooling, and errand running I’m starting to letting slip. I’m trying to be more efficient with my time, I was at the grocery store this week at 8:15, after I dropped the big boys off at school. But, I’m a creature of habit and I’m struggling to fit everything in right now. I know that God has called me to be active in all of these areas and that I just have to keep reminding myself that if I trust in him, he will provide.
My devotional today reminded me of that very thing. Sarah Young writes in Jesus Calling “The world around you seems to spin faster and faster…yet there is a cushion of calm at the center of your life where you live in union with Me. Return to this soothing center as often as you can, for this is where you are energized; filled with my Love, Joy and Peace.” I have definitely felt God’s hand on my heart this week. That overwhelming love and joy that brings you to tears. I think it was His way of preparing me for this understanding today. His way of letting me know that He is here for me and if I trust in Him, He will not let me fall. If I am feeling strengthened in my Lenten journey knowing that he will help me through my times of weakness, then I need to believe that giving him these feelings, these weaknesses, will result in the same. God doesn’t want us to turn to him with parts of ourselves, he wants all of us. His love is enough to take anything and everything we can give him. I’m going to give him my chaos today, and trust that he can handle it.
Are there areas in your life that are feeling chaotic or are spinning out of control that God is calling you to share with Him?
This song by Danny Gokey just kept speaking to my heart this week every time I heard it.