Do you ever feel as if you aren’t doing enough? At different times I have felt that in my work, my parenting, my marriage and my relationship with God. It is natural to have expectations for yourself. But how do you deal with it when you fall short, how easily do you recognize it? Isn’t it so much easier to recognize the shortcomings of those around us?
Right now, as I’m trying to understand where God wants me to go in my relationship with him, I feel as if I’m falling short. I feel as if I should be doing something more; more praying, reading, writing. The one thing I always seem to forget to do more of though is to be still, to be silent, to listen. We live in such a task/results oriented world that it is challenging to believe that you can move forward faster by just sitting still.
This month I have been reading Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Today’s reading included the following: “Your part is to yield to My creative work in you, neither resisting it nor trying to speed it up. Enjoy the tempo of a God-breathed life by letting Me set the pace. Hold My hand in childlike trust, and the way before you will open up step by step.”
In a previous day’s reading she wrote “There is a better way to prepare for whatever you will encounter today; spend quality time with Me. …walk through this day with your focus on me.”
I feel as if this month has been a month of my heavenly Father telling me to be patient, to slow down and to focus on him, and that by doing that, by directing my heart and my soul and my mind toward Him, I will find I have all the time I need. Patience was my word for this year and every day God reminds me what that looks like, in a life lived with Him and in Him.
It’s easier said than done though. Mediation for me is especially hard, clearing out my mind of all of the worries and checklists and things still undone. It’s something I don’t enough of. It’s also something I feel called to do often, but ignore…just focusing on and being in God’s presence. I tell myself hey, I’m praying, reading the bible, devotionals, listening to and singing songs of praise, that should be enough. But in all of those things I am doing something active. What I’m not doing is sitting down and taking time to just be. To listen and hear what God is trying to tell me.
Today I’m going put aside some time to meditate with the phrase,
Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus Christ, (inhale) calm my thoughts that I might hear you (exhale).