God Bless the Children.

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13

Having a relationship with God isn’t always easy.  There are lots of times that I feel as if I’m not strong enough for the things he’s asking me to do, for the challenges I’m facing, and believe me, this year I’ve had my share.  But I have come to learn that God will always be there for us, we just have to choose to let him. And often times those moments that seem the darkest, turn out to be our greatest blessings.

As the parent of a child with significant special needs, and a drive to seriously hurt himself, there are many times when I have looked up and cried out to God, “why”?!  My heart breaks every time I’m not fast enough to stop Hayden from punching himself or when I hear from staff that Hayden has hit his head again.  (There’s a reason he wears a hockey helmet.)  But if I have learned anything these last 18 years, it is that Hayden’s life has purpose and it isn’t always about me.  By choosing to let go of him, by allowing other people into his life to help him, I know that God has used him to change lives and I’m sure he will continue to do so.

I read an article this weekend about how God measures productivity.  Many of us live with the mindset that we need to get as much done as possible in as little time as possible.  I am no exception and especially before my accident, I would often feel guilty if I wasn’t going at full speed. But, the point of this article was that maybe sometimes we need to sit in traffic, to be late, to not get something done.  It isn’t always given to us to know how the actions and events in our lives ripple out to affect other people.  That’s part of trusting in God.

When we are children, it is the responsibility of our parents to guide us and protect us from things that we aren’t cognitively or emotionally aware of.  Don’t you think it’s possible that God does the same thing for us? Maybe he’s protecting us when we are waiting at that red light or we get delayed in the drive-thru. If there is a God out there capable of creating the universe and everything in it from a vast emptiness (and I sincerely believe that there is) then he is more than capable of being able to love and care for each one of us individually.

It isn’t always given to us to know why bad things happen in our lives, but if we trust in our Father (just as we hope our children trust in us) then I know it is possible for him to make everything for our good. And, just as we are there for our children, giving them strength through their hurts and disappointments, there is nothing we can’t do, or get through with Him who gives us strength.

God bless,

Meredith

Patience

I don’t think that I’m the type of person to ever be known for my patience.  I don’t particularly like to sit still, and if I am unhappy with someone in my family it is usually because my patience at that moment (right or wrong) has been exhausted.

So here I am, three weeks into my journey of healing.  I definitely thank God that it took me this long to hit the wall, because that’s what happened on Saturday…I hit the wall, my patience with everything, the pace of my recovery, with my pain, with my limitations was exhausted.  Anyone who has experienced some degree of chronic pain knows what I’m talking about.  I mean sure, if I just sit there I’m fine, but God didn’t make me a sit on the couch person.  He made me a get stuff done person, and everywhere I turn there is stuff that needs to be done!!  But this weekend I spent most of Saturday in bed.  I did nothing but sleep and cry and feel sorry for myself.  Since I’m still healing bone and ligaments, I probably needed the sleep and maybe the cry too.  But hitting the wall is never fun; physically or spiritually.

I’m sure we’ve all been there.  We’ve all had times when we look at our lives and we struggle to see how our suffering can possibly be part of God’s plan.  It’s hardest to lift up our voice in songs of praise in the middle of a storm.  It’s hard to feel his presence in our lives at those moments.

As I was lying in bed on Saturday, feeling sorry for myself, scrolling through Netflix, trying to find something to watch, I came across the movie GREATER.  Full disclosure here, it’s a football movie, but it’s a football movie like The Blind Side is a football movie (and there’s even a cameo in it by Quinton Aaron).  There is a moment in that movie when the quarterback questions the calls and the star reminds him that he (the quarterback) can only see a few meters right in front of him, but the coach can see the entire field.  That is what God is like for us…for me.  Sometimes I don’t understand his calls, but all I can see is what is right in front of me.  I might not learn until later the ripples that when out from my struggles or pain, or I might never learn…but that’s part of what trust is about, what faith is about.

I believe that God used to that movie to remind me to trust in him and his plan, to stop worrying and accept that he always knows what’s best for me.  I think that God reminds us of his love for us everyday, he reminds us to have faith and to trust in him.  Sometimes he does this in ways that are obvious, sometimes he’s more subtle, but the signs are there.  If your heart is bruised or hurting, like mine was this weekend, know that he is there for you, that he loves you and he will give you what you truly need…all you have to do is ask…ask and have faith.

And here’s a song that I hope helps you as much as it helped me this weekend.

God bless,

Meredith