Tag: #Freedom

My ugly jealousy.

I debated about writing this blog because, like most people, I hate exposing that dark underbelly that we all have.  But I also feel that if I am going to be honest about my faith journey and how God works in my life, then sometimes you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.

We’ve all had them, feelings of jealousy.  I know for myself, Those feelings almost always stem from my own feelings of inadequacy.  I never envy people having or doing things that I am confident in about myself, but areas where I am insecure, especially in my work, are very common places for negative feelings to arise.

I had occasion to experience those feelings this past weekend.  I could feel the ugliness and that little voice in my head, questioning myself and putting down another person because I needed to reassure myself that I was good enough. I felt it… but I also recognized it as nothing that was going to take me anywhere good. I think that is part of walking close to God, he lets you know almost immediately that you are on the wrong path and gives you the opportunity to right yourself.

Not only did God give me the opportunity to right myself that day, he then reassured me in my scripture readings.  Now I know the other day I talked about being accused of confirmation bias.  But when I write the verse I read today, you decide for yourself.  Because I could have read it the day before, and I would have if I had stuck to my scheduled reading plan, but I didn’t…  I read this verse on the very day I needed to read this verse.  I simply can’t believe that is anything other than GOD present and active in my life.

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.  For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:”  Romans 12:3-4

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure God took the time today to remind me that we each have different skills and that he will call us each to be our best for him and not to worry about what anyone else is doing.  There are several more verses that follow this one that reiterate that.

This is why I love our Lord.  He absolutely took time to listen to how I was feeling and he gave me an answer and a direction, just like any parent would for their own child. The moment I read that verse I got down on my knees, tears streaming down my face, and thanked God for his love.  For taking the time to show me how much he cares about me and for reminding me of the path he wants me to walk. That feeling of being held by God, of being known by God is so wonderfully, powerfully overwhelming.

If you don’t think that you can have this type of relationship with our Father in heaven I would wholeheartedly tell you that you are wrong.  Not only can you have this kind of relationship, but this is the relationship God wants to have with you.  All you need to do is reach out.  If you haven’t already accepted Jesus as the son of God, and asked him to be a part of your life, then do it now.  If you are a believer, make an effort to get to know the God you believe in, reach out in prayer and open yourself to a life of freedom and love and blessing.

God Bless

Meredith

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=air+i+breathe&view=detail&mid=DC21E3C4784DC6B95AC1DC21E3C4784DC6B95AC1&FORM=VIRE

Freedom

I titled this post Freedom because that is what my faith in God and Jesus has given me.  Freedom.  Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am absolutely a type A personality.  My life is all about time-management and schedules.  Getting the kids out the door, to school, to their activities.  I like to be prepared and preferably well in advance.  I try to reduce the stress  that I find comes from doing things last minute. And in doing this I delude myself into believing that I am in complete control of my life.  Until I’m not.

We’ve all heard the phrase, the only thing we can really control is how we treat the people we encounter in our lives.  But I would challenge that statement, because while we might not be able to control much in our lives, we can absolutely control who we put in charge.  Chance?  or God?   I don’t know if I have the right words to describe how much more peaceful my life has been since I just let go and acknowledged that.  And in that acknowledging, gave up my illusion of control to the one who created everything.

I’ve had lots of discussions with people about this concept.  It’s like they think that by me saying I’ve put God in control I’ve stopped having agency in my life.  I would say that the exact opposite is true.  I’m not afraid anymore.  I’m not worried about getting my next writing job or solving a problem that is outside of my control.  They say that “God helps those, who help themselves”.  And I absolutely believe that.  I still continue to work very hard to be the best writer I can be.  I still continue to work on, and pitch stories that I believe in, but what I don’t do, is worry about it any more.  I’m not afraid of my story not being picked up, or not getting a job, because I’ve put that in God’s hands.  I do my part and then I sit back and let him to his.  That’s what I’m talking about when I say giving control of my life to my Father in heaven has made me free.

I turn everything over to God.  When David lost his wallet in Orlando, I prayed about it and then I called the hotel and when we found it, I absolutely gave thanks.  When I needed to move a large item and the trailer that I had lined up ended up falling through, I worked hard to find another one, but I also gave it up to God and while I did my best, I didn’t worry.  I knew in my heart that my Father would take care of me.

I guess that’s the point of today’s blog.  We absolutely have a Father in heaven and I’m sure this feels like a bit of a reoccurring theme for my blogs, but I don’t think that we can be reminded often enough that God loves us and wants to be an active part of our lives if we will only let him.  When you start giving God control, you will be surprised at all the little ways, everyday of your life, you can find him taking care of you.

God Bless,

Meredith