Tag: #forgiveness

What does it really mean to forgive?

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Have you ever had a situation happen in your life that you just couldn’t get past? I’ll admit to struggling with that at times. You don’t necessarily feel angry, I would say rather that you feel hurt by the actions of another person; that you feel unheard. Perhaps, like me, you have felt there was a wall in your way, in your heart, preventing you from allowing them back in.

As a Christian this situation, this lack of forgiveness troubles me. Why am I not being forgiving? Mark 11:25 says “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” And in Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ “ Forgiveness is given to us freely by God, but it is also required of us to have a relationship with him. Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

So I did a deep dive into the internet and the answer that I found helped me out the most came from a Youtube video by Father Mike Schmitz. In essence he states that when you need to forgive someone it’s because they took something from you and you need justice. I have never thought of forgiveness in that way before, but it makes a lot of sense. He goes on to say that there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness means that I wipe the ledger clean. I allow myself to let go of the hurt caused by this person. I forgive them their debt to me. Forgiveness comes from one party – it is entirely within my control. I can choose to forgive or to hold on to bitterness and resentment. Forgiving someone for the hurt they have caused you does not require that they acknowledge that hurt, the trust broken.

I think that many of us get confused and believe that forgiveness means that you have to go back to the status quo of a relationship. It helped me to know that wasn’t the case. It gave me freedom to be okay with my feelings. Sometimes it’s okay to say good bye both to the debt a person owes us, as well as that person. That being said, none of us are perfect and I own that in myself. So when I had a situation in which I struggled with forgiveness I did what I always do, I brought it before God. I asked him to take this burden and anger from my heart. I acknowledged that he can always do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine and in the end, he restored my relationship in the way only he can. They say time heals all wounds, but in God truly all things are possible. Reach out and allow him to give you the freedom and peace true forgiveness brings.

God bless,
Meredith

Why are diets so hard?!

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I am finally starting to get back into a routine of reading my Bible every morning. Has it ever happened to you. You think to yourself, I’m good with God, I can take a day off, and so you skip a day, the next week maybe you skip two and before you know it, sitting down and spending time with God on a daily basis isn’t part of your routine, but something that you might not even remember to do. I don’t know why things that are good for us are so easy to let slide, but things that hurt us are the easiest things in the world to keep doing. Ask anyone who’s ever lost a significant amount of weight through diet and exercise. Eating healthy and working out feel so good when you are doing them, but take a week off and it can feel like climbing a mountain to get going again.

I know a lot of people who believe in God, who love God don’t necessarily sit down with their Bible everyday, my parents are prime examples. They go to church, they love God, they live good lives. But as someone who has read through the good book a few times now, if you aren’t reading the Bible you are missing the chance to be reminded by God how much He love you. Here are the passages that were part of my readings over the past few days.

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

“Let us then approach the throne of grace with conidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

“You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.” Psalm 86:5

Now maybe these verses aren’t speaking to you, or maybe they are, the point is that they spoke directly to what I was feeling this morning. You will be astonished to see how often a verse you read in your daily devotions resonates with what you are going through in your life. That’s the power of God’s word! But let’s be honest here, the Bible is a big freaking book. How do you even know where to start? There are so many amazing resources out there on Pinterest and the internet, but to help you get started, here are links to the ones I’ve been using lately. (No I don’t get money for this).

Just like a starting a habit of healthy living to get ride of those extra pounds, starting a habit of daily time with God can help you get rid of all of the extra “stuff” your heart and soul are carrying around.

Surrender yourself to the experience of being spoken to by your heavenly Father through his word. I promise you won’t regret it.

God bless,

Meredith

https://www.facebook.com/victoriouslivingblog/

Scripture Writing Plan — Revive Refresh Renew

Who’s to Judge?

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I don’t think that I am alone when I say that I can often times be my biggest critic. As a writer it can be hard to learn to let go of a piece of writing and say that it is “good” enough. I’m even more critical of my lack of patience, quick temper, lack of will power. And don’t you find that in those times when we feel the most out of control in our own lives, those are the times we tend to be the most critical of others? As the Covid-19 pandemic follows us into the new year, we judge people for their use or non use of masks, social distancing, willingness to get the vaccine. Sometimes it feels as if our days are filled with nothing but continuous opportunities to pass judgement – on others and ourselves.

Yesterday was not a fabulous day for me. I’m definitely feeling the pressure of packing up our house over the next month for a move and worrying if the new house will be ready. Sometimes I just feel so frustrated by the limitations we are all living under; about not be able to just live my life and get stuff done. I hate it when I feel that way. I hate the way it makes me aware of the darkness in my soul when I give in to my anger and frustration. Remember that whole judgement thing I was talking about…

One of my goals for this year is to get back to reading my Bible daily. I sat down this morning and looked at it – five different sticky notes projecting from the top – unable to decide where to begin. My favorite gospel is that of John. It feels as if it was written by someone who knew Jesus intimately – who loved him and just wanted to share the “good news”. Here’s what I read almost immediately: “I am not seeking glory for myself; but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge.” John 8:50

But as soon as I read this I though, WAIT! this is a contradiction to something I remembered reading last week. So I went back through my notes and found this: “Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgement to the Son…” John 5:22

Jesus said both of these things and it got me to thinking…he’s telling us in John 8 that God is the judge, but he has also told us that God judges no one. Think about that, a judge who has far more right to pass judgement upon us than anyone on this earth, including ourselves… who judges no one.

So many times in the past religion has been used as a weapon to control people, to make them feel shamed into believing. But Jesus is telling us here that God our Father judges no one. I’m not saying that I believe that means you can go ahead and do bad things without recourse. Jesus goes on to say in John 5:30 “By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgement is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” But the solution to judgement is so simple – it’s just belief. “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; ” John 5:24

We need to be kinder to ourselves. God doesn’t need us to be perfect or without flaws or sin, he took care of that when he sent his only son to die for us. He doesn’t want to judge us – he only wants to love us. All we need to do is accept the gift of his love.

I need to be kinder to myself. I’m human, I’m going to have good days and bad days. There are days I’m going to scream at my kids and fight with my husband. There are days when I’m going to be rude to a stranger, not because of anything they have done, but because of where I’m at. I am as far from a perfect person as it is possible to be…thank you God that you don’t need me to be perfect to love me.

I hope and pray that each of us have a day where we are kind to ourselves. That we have a day where we allow God’s love to fill our hearts with peace and joy and wash away the judgement and self-doubt that darkens our souls.

God bless,

Meredith