Author: Meredith Finch

Christian. Writer of comic books for Cave Publishing, DC, Image, Dynamite and Zenescope Comics. Lover of C.S. Lewis and George MacDonald and fantasy fiction. If I'm singing then you know I'm happy.

STOP RIGHT THERE!

In today’s Bible reading of John Chapter 6 we read what I think are some of the most profound words in the Bible, spoken by Jesus himself

We made the decision several years ago to send our youngest son to a private Christian school. He was struggling in the public system and we desperately hoped that the smaller class sizes and more opportunities for individual attention would help him be successful and it absolutely has, I wouldn’t change that decision for the world. But one of the things we had to do in order to get him into that school was go through an interview process. The idea of the interview was to confirm that we shared the moral values and ideal of the school community. Fair enough, they aren’t looking for boat rockers in a small, private school. But where the interview process when wrong was when one of the interviewers told Dave that, in his questioning of his faith, he wasn’t a true Christian.

I’m sure she felt well-intentioned, but her words and judgement about a personal journey were perhaps the most un-Christian I have ever heard. I also know that we have all come across those types of Christians in our lives. The ones that make us cringe at the thought of this religion. The ones that force their opinion upon us and try to “convert” us to their beliefs through bullying and fear. The ones that are completely misguided in believing that they are stacking up points in heaven by the number of converts they can wrack up on earth. Yuck!

Let’s look at those words I was referring to earlier on – the most profound words spoken by Jesus himself. John 6:44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them.” There you have it, an absolution of responsibility. It isn’t your job to make someone a Christian – that job belongs to God and God alone. Our role is share God’s love, to pray for people to come to know God, but it is God himself who has to place that desire in their heart. Maybe we are all born with that desire placed within us. That, I don’t know. It’s one of God’s mysteries. What I do know is that forcing someone to believe in something because of pressure or fear, simply to check a box in your own life isn’t really helping anyone. 

I have a list of people in my life for whom I pray daily. I pray for them to come to know God and his love and kindness. I try to be open about my faith and my relationship with God without being pushy. I want people to see this amazing thing I have, and want it for themselves, but ultimately only God can give them that desire. Jesus reiterates this again at the end of John 6:65  He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”

This is why we are called to be God’s light in the world, to draw those, in whom God has planted a seed, to us. Be the light and love of God in the darkness of this world.

God bless,

Meredith

KICK UP YOUR HEELS AND FEEL JOY!

“I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart – where? Down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart to stay.”I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart – where? Down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart to stay.”

Like many people, I have my good days and my bad. But there have been times in my life, when I feel more calm, when I have more patience, I’m more loving, more kind, more generous. I try to be all those things in my life all the time, but there are times when it just comes more easily and I’ve finally figured out why. It’s the times I’m reading my Bible on a daily basis. Now, I know that there are many people who will scoff at this and say that the Bible is a book, just like any other. And I know a lot of people who consider themselves Christians who don’t feel the need to read the Bible because they go to church or believe in God and “that’s good enough”. But hear me out, because I believe this with every fibre of my being – the Bible is a living document.

What do I mean by that? I mean that the Bible is one of the ways God will actually speak to you. That you will get something different from it every time you read it, and that it has the power to change you. There were so many times during the building of our farm that I struggled with something, only to find the answer almost highlighted in bold for me in my daily Bible reading. Don’t get me wrong, it is so easy to push it into the “round-to-it” category. And I totally get that the Bible is a daunting book, so here’s what I propose…let’s read it together. I’ll show you how I do my devotions and I want to hear from you, the verses that speak to your heart. I have found the secret for me, is that I have to make it first – before I open up Facebook, or email, or answer my texts.

There is a voice in your head right now that says you don’t need to read the Bible. I want you to squash that voice. That voice is very real and that voice doesn’t want you to draw closer to God. That voice wants you to stay right where you are. For the next few days you are going to have to fight that voice so hard. Maybe for the next few weeks. So click on this link, put it in your Bookmark Toolbar and every morning, grab your cup of coffee and before you click Facebook, email, or even check the weather, click on it and spend 5 minutes with God. See if it doesn’t change your life too.

My Daily Bible Reading

My Whisper Pony

I want to start this by saying I have never owned a stallion before, nor have I restarted an eight year old stallion who was hardly ridden before, but life is an adventure. I’ve used the expression God only gives you what you can handle, but I’ve had occasion to rethink that saying recently – maybe sometimes God gives you more than you can handle – because that is where growth happens.

My stallion, Buzz and I have been, to quote a friend, “riding the struggle bus” recently. Unlike every single other gypsy I own, his natural inclination is to go fast, really, really fast. Canter – more like gallop. He is teaching me to use my seat and half-halts in a way that I never knew I could. But today, thanks to my incredible trainer, Sarah Durham, we had a ‘bring me to tears’ breakthrough; Buzz is a whisper pony.

What is a whisper pony you might ask. A whisper pony is one who is so sensitive, so tuned into their body and to you that they respond to the merest suggestion of pressure. When I ask most of my ponies for a leg-yield, I put on my leg and they move over. I couldn’t figure out why Buzz kept running away – today I figured it out. He needed me to whisper. The very slightest suggestion of my leg moved him over, smoothly, quietly, calmly.

How often in our lives do we get used to speaking in one tone. We get frustrated with those around us because they aren’t listening, because we aren’t being heard. But maybe sometimes the answer isn’t to get louder, maybe sometimes the answer lies in a whisper. Maybe the answer is less about what you do and more about what someone else needs.

Why did this moment bring me to tears? I am 50 years old. God gave me the gift of my heart’s dream over the last few years. I will never, ever get tired of learning how to listen to my horses, to do better and be better for them. But, I am incredibly thankful that He also surrounded me with people to bless me with their knowledge and expertise. He has blessed me with an opportunity to grow. I’m so grateful for my whisper pony; for the lesson he taught me today, for the lessons he will keep on teaching me. And, there are not words for how incredibly grateful I am for my amazing trainer, Sarah.

There are times when you truly feel God’s hand upon your life. Today was definitely one of those days. I can not live my life without God. He provides for me at all times and in all ways, even more than I can ask or imagine. The love of God overwhelmed me today. His care for me, for my life, and for the actualization of the dream he gave me oh so many, many years ago…I didn’t know I needed my whisper pony, but He certainly did.

Praise be to God.

Meredith.

I NEED MORE!

I have said it several times over the last few weeks, after the stress and anxiety of the last year, people just need Christmas. It’s the reason why lights went up right after Halloween in so many houses. Christmas is the time of year when people are just more; more kind, more generous, more patient. But Christmas can also be a time of year when we feel compelled to do more; more presents, more entertaining, more lights, more decorations, more food. There have been so many years when I have found myself caught up in that. With the way inflation has pushed people to the brink, there is a push for people to go back to a simpler Christmas, to go back to homemade gifts and more thoughtful gifts. But I’ll admit it, even though I would love to receive a homemade gift, I feel insecure about giving one, as if it isn’t enough.

At at the same time, the older I get, the more I crave a simpler holiday. I don’t want to spend days shopping for presents that will end up collecting dust or heading to the Goodwill in six months. I want to spend time with those I love. I just want peace. And at the same time, this year I do want my Christmas to be about more – more God. I want to truly feel the joy and miracle of what this season is really about – the birth of our saviour, the love of God, become man to save the world. What a truly special gift. I have had years when the Christmas season is the time I feel the farthest from God, because I’m so focused on what the world tells me Christmas is about. But one thing remains true, on Christmas Eve, when I stand in my church singing those hymns, I get choked up every time. I feel overwhelmed by God’s love for us; for me. This year I want to feel that throughout the holiday season.

One of the radio stations I listened to suggested reading the book of Luke for the advent season – 24 chapters for 24 days. 24 days spent with Jesus. I can’t think of a better way to have more this holiday season. We all need Christmas so very much this year, with it’s message of love and light in a world filled with darkness. Let the “more” you chase this year be the “more” of being filled with God’s love and grace and a peace that passes all understanding.

God bless,

Meredith

What does it really mean to forgive?

Have you ever had a situation happen in your life that you just couldn’t get past? I’ll admit to struggling with that at times. You don’t necessarily feel angry, I would say rather that you feel hurt by the actions of another person; that you feel unheard. Perhaps, like me, you have felt there was a wall in your way, in your heart, preventing you from allowing them back in.

As a Christian this situation, this lack of forgiveness troubles me. Why am I not being forgiving? Mark 11:25 says “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” And in Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’ “ Forgiveness is given to us freely by God, but it is also required of us to have a relationship with him. Mark 11:25 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

So I did a deep dive into the internet and the answer that I found helped me out the most came from a Youtube video by Father Mike Schmitz. In essence he states that when you need to forgive someone it’s because they took something from you and you need justice. I have never thought of forgiveness in that way before, but it makes a lot of sense. He goes on to say that there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness means that I wipe the ledger clean. I allow myself to let go of the hurt caused by this person. I forgive them their debt to me. Forgiveness comes from one party – it is entirely within my control. I can choose to forgive or to hold on to bitterness and resentment. Forgiving someone for the hurt they have caused you does not require that they acknowledge that hurt, the trust broken.

I think that many of us get confused and believe that forgiveness means that you have to go back to the status quo of a relationship. It helped me to know that wasn’t the case. It gave me freedom to be okay with my feelings. Sometimes it’s okay to say good bye both to the debt a person owes us, as well as that person. That being said, none of us are perfect and I own that in myself. So when I had a situation in which I struggled with forgiveness I did what I always do, I brought it before God. I asked him to take this burden and anger from my heart. I acknowledged that he can always do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine and in the end, he restored my relationship in the way only he can. They say time heals all wounds, but in God truly all things are possible. Reach out and allow him to give you the freedom and peace true forgiveness brings.

God bless,
Meredith

I Am A Terrible Person!

Have you ever had a day when you were just convinced that you were the worst person in the world?  I think it would be fair to say that I am not exactly an even-keeled person.  I definitely have days that are great and I definitely have days that are on the opposite end of that spectrum.  Yesterday I was sick; just sick and grumpy and miserable.  You know those days, the ones when you can’t even remember what it feels like to be happy?  To laugh?

But what about when your struggles are in your head?  It can be so incredibly hard to reach out to anyone past the walls we build up around ourselves.  In our darkest hours it can be hard to take the hand that others reach out for us. Sometimes, we find ourselves so far down in the pit, it can feel like there is no way out.  But in those darkest of times, I want you to remember 2 Corinthians 12:9. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

“For my power is made perfect in weakness.”  In times past I have wallowed in my misery and depression.  I have told myself that I was a terrible person and not good enough.  I have hated my weaknesses.  But it is those exact weaknesses that Jesus uses to deepen our relationship, to crack us open so that all we see, all we need is him.  The fantasy of the “perfect Christian” is exactly that, a fantasy.  The amazing preacher Billy Graham would have been the first person to tell you how far he was from perfect.  God wants all of our perfectly imperfect selves because the truth is that our life’s journey isn’t about becoming perfect, it’s about becoming perfectly close to God.

God never promised that we wouldn’t have tough times.  He did promise to walk through those tough times with us. So when you are at the bottom of the pit and it feels like there is no way out you don’t need to come up with some deep meaningful, beautiful prayer, you only need three words. Help me, Lord.  God is ALWAYS there, he will always be there waiting for YOU, wanting a relationship with YOU!  Yes, I am a terrible person.  I let my mouth run away with me more times than I would like and sometimes I’m too quick to anger, but God still loves me.  He will always love me and he will never, ever leave me.  His grace, has been and always will be sufficient.

May God shine his light and love on you in your darkest hours.

God bless,

Meredith

He Answers Prayers

What would you say if I told you that I knew the secret to having your prayers answered?

How many times have you prayed and then felt as if God didn’t hear you or answer you? Eighteen years ago I was there. I asked God to heal my son, I asked God to save my marriage. And I absolutely felt as if I had prayed in vain. My marriage fell apart and I was a divorced mother of two small children, one of whom with very significant special needs. Clearly God didn’t exist, or if he did, he wasn’t in the business of answering my prayers.

Fast forward to today. I can’t think of a single prayer I have prayed that I haven’t known God to answer – so what is the difference? Does he love me more now?

Don’t ever for a single moment think that God doesn’t hear your prayers or that they won’t be answered, but the secret isn’t giving God a wish list of things you think you want or need, it’s praying for him to help you through a situation and at all times acknowledging that his will be done. Sometimes what we are praying for isn’t actually what we need. If God had saved my marriage I wouldn’t be living my best life right now. I wouldn’t have found the love of my life, my soul mate, I wouldn’t have my Dave. And if God had healed my son, he wouldn’t have touched so many lives and again, I absolutely would not be where I am today. God had a plan for my life and it was infinitely more than I could have asked or imagined 20 odd years ago.

Yes, it’s true, God doesn’t always heal the sick and the dying when we pray – we don’t always get a “lame shall walk” miracle. I have lost those I cared for deeply to tragic accidents. God doesn’t promise us a pain-free existence, but he does promise to walk through the valleys with us. You can’t know joy without experiencing sorrow. You can’t appreciate health, without knowing sickness, and although we might not see it at the time, God can always turn things for our good.

I’d like to end with a story of our weekend miracle – our weekend answered prayer. Last Sunday my sister’s cat went missing. They searched everywhere for him to no avail. We have of course offered up prayers for Rocky’s safe return. This Sunday morning, while we were in church, praying for his return, Rocky came home. God loves his children and wants to give us every good thing and in this case our answered prayer was a filthy, smelly, much beloved kitty. Thank you, Lord.

If only you would hear his voice.

Every once in a while I am reminded that once upon a time I had a blog about my faith journey. Last night was one of those time. People still find it, and people still comment, thanking me for what I’ve posted. Last night was one of those times. My last blog post, prior to today, was April of 2022. I knew I had blogged for a while, but I when I looked back… my first blog post was September of 2018, and I blogged a lot back then; almost daily.

There are times in our spiritual journey when we are called to be the lighthouse, to shine the light of our faith outwards for others to see; to light their way. There are times in our faith journey when others light the way for us. As many of you know, we have spent the last three years building our farm. We took an empty soy bean field and we filled it; with a house, a barn, fields of hay, pastures for grazing and of course ponies for riding and loving. All of my physical and mental energy has been focused on filling that field and I have emptied myself. I have found myself too weary to read, to write, to even think at times. I have worried that God is disappointed in me because I haven’t been to church as often, because I don’t read my Bible as often, because I don’t sit down and devote time to him as often. That isn’t to say that I don’t always say little prayers throughout my day – “Please help me, Father” or that I don’t recognize and give thanks for the all of the small miracles he sends my way and the many, many blessings. But it does mean that I have felt guilt for not doing enough, and at times I have felt as though I wasn’t enough.

This weekend God again reminded me that I can always come to him, just as I am and He knows exactly what I can and can’t do. Do not allow the world, do not allow others to put parameters on your relationship with God. Your relationship with God, isn’t defined by how often you go to church and sit in a pew, your relationship with God isn’t defined by how often you open your Bible – it’s defined by how much you depend upon him to get you through your daily life. I can’t get through a day without him. My first instinct is to go to him; with my joys and my sorrows, with my worries and my delights. Absolutely, attending church and reading your Bible are important – they are how you deepen your understanding of your heavenly Father – how He speaks to you, and how you can learn and understand his truths for yourself. But please don’t allow yourself to believe that, if you aren’t doing those things, he loves you any less. He is calling to us every single day, reaching out to us, wanting to draw us closer to him, wanting to show us how much he truly loves us – if only you would hear his voice.

I hear God’s voice calling out to me. Telling me that this part of my journey, this phase of exhaustion is coming to an end, and it might be time to turn my light on once again.

I’ll pray for you.

Social media has made it possible for us to connect with so many more people than was once possible. One aspect of that connection is learning about the struggles and trails that people often share. I think the most common one I’ve seen is someone going into surgery, asking for prayers and good vibes, or the loss of a loved one. How many times have you typed a response to one of these posts with the words “I’ll pray for you” or “sending prayers” or used the little prayer hands emoji? How many times have you actually followed through?

I’m guilty of it myself at times. Seeing someone going through something, I say I’ll pray for them, but then I get distracted and life is busy and I forget, or I make a distracted attempt and then move on. I never actually, meaningfully offer a prayer to God for that person.

How many times as a parent have I told my kids that actions speak louder than words? and yet in my own relationship with God I’ve offered so many empty promises of prayer. I can’t tell you what changed for me, or why, but something in my heart did. I found myself making a commitment to God, to actually take a moment, to sit and meaningfully pray. To spend time with God, praying, for any person who asks for prayer on my social media or in my life. If I say I’m going to pray for you. I’m actually doing it. You lost a cat and ask for prayers? I’m praying for you. Surgery? I’m praying for you. Lost someone? I’m reaching out in prayer for you and your family.

What has surprised me in all of this has been an unexpected consequence. I’ve grown closer to God myself. I feel him reaching out to me, touching my heart in those times when I’m reaching out to him for someone else.

Maybe you’re better at follow through than I was, but if you aren’t, then I encourage you to try it. The next time you write that you are praying for someone, or post a prayer hand emoji, STOP, take a moment, bow your head and meaningfully, heartfully offer up your petition for that person. You might be surprised at what you get back in return.

God bless,

Meredith

Sometimes you need a Karen.

Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. Psalm 118:5-6

God always answers prayers, sometimes it just takes a bit for us to recognize that.

It’s been busy times here on the farm. For the most part, I’ve been incredibly grateful for the subzero temperatures; frozen ground means no mud. The snow on the ground looks beautiful too. And then the thaw came…

We’ve got water management problems on our property after all of the building and landscape changes we’ve done this year. Solving that, and putting in some drainage tile is absolutely on our list for 2022. But that doesn’t help right now. Last week we had a major warm up (loved it) and then some rain (oh no!). All of that on frozen ground meant a lot of water, like I mean A LOT of water, on our property. Unfortunately a lot of that water was in our horse paddocks.

You know what doesn’t go well together? Horses and ice. And when we got another quick and hard freeze, our paddocks became mini frozen lakes. ACK!!! No turn-out for horses means sad horses, and sad horses means sad Meredith. I’m very blessed to have the indoor riding arena so each group of two got two runs per day, but it didn’t help me to feel better, because I knew that they really needed the movement of being outside during the day.

I don’t know why it takes me longer at times to bring my problems to God, but I think it’s because I allow myself to be convinced that this isn’t really a problem worthy of God’s time and attention. But who am I to tell God what’s important? So finally Saturday night I told God how I was feeling.

How many times has God used the people in my life to solve my problems? I ended up chatting with a horse friend later that day (named Karen) who suggested we salt the paddocks – great idea! Why didn’t I think of that? We salted, and the next day I was able to get the boys all out in the afternoon for some fresh air.

That night we got a deep freeze and snow – like the kind of weather even salt won’t help with. So now I had snow on top of ice!!! Treacherous for humans, I can’t even describe how dangerous that is for spindly legged, creatures with an innate desire to kill/injure themselves. Back to my friend who suggested plowing my paddock.

Thank you Jesus! I plowed my paddock and by then it had warmed up enough for the salt to work again, so the boys had a nice, clean, wet, but non-icy place to spend their afternoon.

The crazy part about this is that it wasn’t until this morning that I was finally able to recognize God’s hand in all of this. His answer to my prayer was my friend. How many times has God answered prayers through the people in your life and you missed seeing it?

Thanks be to God for reminding me that if it’s important enough for me to worry about, then it’s important enough to bring it to him in prayer.

Have a fabulous day and God bless!

Meredith